Series

Esto es un lunes por la mañana en clase de Jaimito que la profesora les suelta:
Buenos chicos os voy a comentar que son las yenas y despues os dejaré 5 minutos para que lo memorizeis y lo comenteís.
Empezemos.
La Yena es un animal que vive en el centro de África,se alimenta de carroña o carne en estado de putrefacción,copula una vez al año y emite un ruido característico muy parecido a lacarcajada humana.
Bueno ahora os dejo 5 minutos y empiezo a preguntar.
PASADOS LOS 5 MINUTOS
A ver quien quiere ser el 1º? (Jaimito venga a levantar la mano)
Venga Luisito dime que son las Yenas.
Luisito:Las Yenas son animales que viven en el centro de África,se alimentan de carroña o carne en estado de putrefacción y emiten un ruido caracteristico parecido a la carcajada humana.
Muuy Bien,esose merece un 10.A ver quien más quiere?
(Jaimito otra vez levantando la mano)
Que no Jaimito que tu solo sabes decir tonterias
Venga Maria contesta sobre las Yenas.
María:Pues las Yenas son unos animales que viven en el centro o por ahí,se alimentan de mierda,chingan una vez al año y parece que se rien.
Bueno María eso está un pelín justo pero te pongo un 5.
A ver el último?
(Jaimito otravez levantando la mano)
Bueno como no se ofrece nadie más… Venga Jaimito.
Jaimito:La verdad que la Yena para lo lejos que vive,la mierda que come y lo poco que chinga… No se de que cojones se rie.
Espero que os haya gustado.Un saludo.

|[pic] |

Un tipo hambriento entraa un restaurante; se sienta en una mesa sucia y
ordena:
!Ea, mesero, venga aqui por favor!
Pero nadie le hace caso.
Insiste:
!Oiga, mesero, venga por favor!
Nuevamente, nadie le hace caso.
Mientras espera, mira hacia la mesa y ve a 15 hormigas ‘punk’ en motos,
armadas con bates, cadenas, navajas y latigos persiguiendo a una sola. La
hormiga solitaria vestia chamarra negra, pantalon decuero, botas negras y
conducia una motocicleta plateada.
El hombre, asombrado, observa como el grupo de 15 hormigas intenta atrapa
a la hormiga solitaria, cuando, de pronto, la hormiga solitaria da un giro
de 180 grados en su vehiculo, saca un latigo y de un solo golpe tumba a 6
hormigas; se da la vuelta y sigue su camino.
Las cosas se estan poniendo buenisimas, penso el tipo. Hasta el apetitose
le habia quitado.
La persecucion continuaba, y todas iban a la maxima velocidad esquivando
vasos y platos, de improviso, la solitaria saca del bolsillo una bomba de
humo; enciende la mecha y la arroja hacia la pandilla. El humo se expandio
rapidamente haciendo que las perseguidoras tuvieran poca visibilidad y dos
hormigas mas cayeron al suelo. Ahora unicamente quedaban 7.
Variashormigas le arrojaban navajas tratando de agujerear las llantas.
Pero la hormiga era sorprendente y se movia de lado a lado. Colerica, la
hormiga jefe, una enorme roja, bien fortachona, saca una cadena larga y le
pega un latigazo en el brazo a la solitaria. Esta perdio el equilibrio y
se estrello contra un grano de arroz; rapidamente la hormiga se levanto y
se subio a la moto, pero cuando levanto lamirada estaba rodeada. Las 7
hormigas punk, irritadas, sacaron sus armas; empiezan a acelerar sin
avanzar, la otra hace lo mismo. Entonces las punk aceleran a toda
velocidad con las armas al frente, la solitaria saca una cadena y de
pronto…
Llega el mesero y limpiando la mesa dice:
?Que le sirvo, senor?

Ricardo recibió un loro por su cumpleaños; ya era un loro adulto, con una muy malaactitud y vocabulario. Cada palabra que decia estaba adornada por alguna palabrota, asi como siempre de muy mal genio.
Ricardo trato desde el primer día de corregir la actitud del loro, diciéndole palabras bondadosas y con mucha educación, le ponía música suave y siempre lo trataba con mucho cariño.
Llegó un día en que Ricardo perdió la paciencia y gritó al loro, el cual se puso más grosero…

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